Full Transcript – Jamila Musayeva – Wild Business Growth Podcast #303

This is the full transcript for Episode #303 of the Wild Business Growth podcast featuring Jamila Musayeva – Etiquette Coach, YouTube Educator. You can listen to the interview and learn more here. Please note: this transcript is not 100% accurate.

Jamila Musayeva 0:00
If you are a mess, there is very little chance that you will be organized in the rest of your life.

Max Branstetter 0:19
There was once a podcast host who had game, who made a bet that the Browns had the same but alas, the Browns suffered a loss to the Dallas Cowboys who played like a boss, and now he has to read this in shame. Go Cowboys. Welcome back to the Wild Business Growth podcast. I’m your host Max Branstetter, who clearly just paid off a bet. That is a limerick written by Anne Candido, of my clients, Forthright People as well as her co-founder, April Martini, they’re awesome, but Anne is not so awesome right now. Yeah, she’s a Cowboys fan anyway. Still not sure why I agreed to that, but welcome back to the Wild Business Growth podcast. This is your place to hear from a new entrepreneur every single Wednesday morning who’s turning Wild ideas into Wild growth. I’m your host, Max Branstetter. You know me from my betting scandal, and this is episode 303. There should be a band called that. And today’s guest is Jamila Musayeva. Jamila is an etiquette expert. She’s a certified etiquette coach. She has books on etiquette. She’s an etiquette consultant. She has an incredibly impressive YouTube channel, and in this episode, we talk learning several languages and teaching your kids several languages. All you need to know about etiquette when it comes to in person, business interactions, online, email and outside of work, how to grow your YouTube to the heights and ranks of the YouTube gods and a weird talent that You cannot miss. It is jammy. Enjoy the shoe. I uh oh, rady, we’re here with Jamila musayeva, a name that I didn’t even have to practice, just because I know it so easily. Jamila, so excited to have you on. Thank you so much for joining the certified etiquette coach, etiquette consultant, YouTube extraordinaire, Jamila, how you? Jamila, how are you doing today? So excited to have you on.

Jamila Musayeva 2:46
Thank you, Max. Thank you for having me. I’m super excited for the talk we’re about to have. Of

Max Branstetter 2:51
course, of course. Well, put a lot of pressure on it now, so it’s got to be the best talk ever. But no, no. Just blown away when I came across your story. I think it’s so cool. Well, first of all, like, it’s so hard to stand out on YouTube, and whenever somebody finds like, a very specific area and is able to blossom there and show their expertise, I think it’s always impressive. And I just, it just pumps me up. But then also, personally, I can use a lot of help from the etiquette standpoint. So this is going to be a consulting session for you too. But before we get to the etiquette stuff, so I know that you actually know several languages. How many languages would you consider yourself fluent in?

Jamila Musayeva 3:29
I would say fluent in maybe five, English, Azerbaijani, Russian, Spanish and French. Those are five that I can really easily converse in. And then you can add into that Turkish, which I can understand and speak well, because similar to Azerbaijani, you can add it German, because I used to study it, and I used to be very fluent, obviously forgotten over the years, and I’m currently learning Arabic, which is a struggle, but I understand better than I speak muy

Max Branstetter 3:57
bien. Says, No, I only know unfo Quito, but I’ve always been fascinated by languages. First of all, congrats on knowing that much. I’ve always said, like learning a new language is like adding layers to your brain, and that’s you. So you have many, many layers to your brain. So congrats on that. Felicidades, Felicia tones, yeah, I forget it, Espanol. Kisas, what made you interested in the first place in learning so many different languages?

Jamila Musayeva 4:30
Well, I grew up in Azerbaijan, which was a very small country. And growing up here, I already had to speak or learn my own language, which is Azerbaijani and also Russian, because we were part of Soviet Union. And when I was born, 1991 Soviet Union had just fallen apart, and Azerbaijan regained its independence. So my parents spoke Russian. Everyone around me spoke Russian. So I was already bilingual as a child, and then obviously my parents added English, because, you know, they knew there was a future with that language. And I. When you were born in a country that is quite small and used to be under someone’s regime, it’s natural that you you are drawn to learning other languages and cultures, because obviously there are very few people that can converse with you in Azerbaijani, but there’s so many people that you can talk to in English. So I’ve noticed also that when I was in college in us that very few Americans really felt the need to learn any other language, because everyone spoke English. So I think that was probably the main reason, and also my natural tendency, or inclination, my desire to learn about cultures and languages in general, I used to be very good, and still, I think I’m quite good with accents, quite good with like imitating languages. And to meet like music. I think it’s just also a personal love for languages, but I do now practice that with my little kids. So my daughter is nine, my son is six, and at that age, already, they are quite like they’re good conversation level in four different languages, and I’m adding a new one this year, so we’ll see,

Max Branstetter 6:03
oh, my God. Well, and I don’t own a Pig Latin very well, but you could throw that one to the mix as well, but that’s just super impressive. But I always go back to with languages. Like, it’s really tough. Like, it’s one thing to start to learn the basics, but to actually get to that level of being fluent and like, starting to, like, dream in different languages like that. Like, that’s a whole nother ball game of the languages that that you personally know so far, what, and I say so far, because you never know. You might have to 10 or 15, which has been the most difficult to learn. Oh,

Jamila Musayeva 6:37
Arabic, for sure, Arabic. It’s like nothing else. People say that Russian is a very difficult language, and I don’t know, because I’ve been exposed to this as a child, so I don’t really remember the process of learning it was just infiltrated into my mind by just being in the environment, but I assume it would be difficult if I wasn’t learning it as a child. Arabic now is very hard for me as an adult. I mean, I started learning it in middle school, but I had a lot of stops in between, and it’s just so difficult, Max, to be able to try to find out things I can relate it to. That’s how I learn things. I try to assimilate things with certain things that I already know. But this one is just out of this world, but I love it so much that my I think love for the language keeps me going. Otherwise I would have given up. What is it? Can

Max Branstetter 7:24
you give an example, like, what? What’s so different about it compared to some of the other common languages?

Jamila Musayeva 7:30
First of all, there are a lot of different like past, not just past, past, present, future terms. There’s a lot of male feminine like, you know, it’s Jamil for a guy, Jamila for a woman, which is a lot similar, like a Spanish Bonito and bonita. There’s also, like, a lot of the way that the sentence is structured. It’s very complicated than you know, a Spanish would be. Also like some for example, one of the examples that I always give is so weird. I think it’s from if you say something from two up to 11. In Arabic language, it’s plural, and then after 11, it’s again singular. And I was like, But why? It makes no sense, like, there’s no logic behind it. But it’s like that. So it’s very difficult to remember, like, female and male versions. It’s very difficult to remember when it’s singular and when it’s plural. Also, like numbers, you don’t say like 76 you say six and 70. So it’s really, like, you really have to always be on your toes. I don’t know. It’s just complicated for me. Maybe again, I’m saying I’m an adult learning it. So now it’s more difficult for me. But who knows? It’s one of the most difficult languages, for sure.

Max Branstetter 8:36
Yeah, I’m totally thrown off by the 11 thing. Like, that’s it. I always think about that with like forms of measurement, like the US has, like, what we’re used to, like feet and yards and things like that. And then even like the way we do our clocks, like the AM, PM, not the, you know, 24 hour time and all that. It’s normal for us. But I feel like for so many countries around the world, it’s like, why would you do like, 12 inches? Like, what’s the point of that? You know, it’s like so from but from the Arabic standpoint. So the 11 is funny, but I am curious, how old were you when you learned English?

Jamila Musayeva 9:12
I don’t remember that the age when I started, but I know that my mom had, like, this girl that was our neighbor. She was doing play dates for us, and then we stopped, and then I started going to an English speaking school when I was 10. So at my grade four, and it was really, I think, yeah, just fourth grade onwards is when I started learning everything in English. So that’s pretty much the age. But I also think, like prior to that, we had a little bit of exposure to English language in general.

Max Branstetter 9:40
What do you think is the weirdest thing about the English language,

Jamila Musayeva 9:43
so many unnecessary letters that are not pronounced and like, why would you write them if you’re not pronouncing them? It’s just also one of those languages when now, after having learned it is just natural to me. But then sometimes, when I come across a new word and I have to read it, I’m like, But why am I not. Pronouncing the four letters in between. Like, I don’t know it’s like, so bizarre. Why would you write it if you’re not reading it? So it is complicated. Actually, for someone who is learning it at an older age,

Max Branstetter 10:12
it is like, that’s so true. Like, there’s so many words that if you just pronounce it phonetically, like, like, why isn’t the spelling of this word shortened, like, why are there, like, a second example, like the word yacht, for example, like, y, A, C, H, T, like, you could just be y, A, T, like, it doesn’t make any sense. Like that. So much extra. I guess we just love letters here and in English speaking countries. But last, last thing about languages before I before you’re off the language Hot Seat. What advice do you have for anybody that aspires to learn a foreign language, become fluent in it, and do so in like, not a crazy amount of time?

Jamila Musayeva 10:52
Well, depends on the age, which is why I’m such an advocate of learning languages since a very young age on because I see for myself. I see for my kids now that I’m like reliving that with my kids, is, the earlier you expose them to languages, the easier it is for them to grasp it. It’s just a part of growing up. They don’t really think much about it. It’s not like something they have to sit and learn. It’s kind of like a play for them. So for me, I think the most important thing for whoever wants to learn language is never look at it as like this is a project I have to do in like a year time. You know, if you allow yourself, give yourself that liberty of learning it and making a journey, rather than like an end goal result, then the likelihood of you enjoying the process and being consistent with it, because I know people that would be so intense into a language for like, three more months, and then they just burn out and they stop learning everything. And that’s not how it’s gonna work. You cannot learn your language by doing it intensely. You can only do it by doing consistently. So for me, it’s make it fun, make it interesting, make it consistent. 10 minutes spent learning Spanish would be better than if you just do a marathon on Spanish for just a week, you know, so and also try to use a lot of materials that are fun to learn with, like music, movies, TV shows, something that can get you hooked. You know, a lot of people are now learning Korean really well because of Korean drama, because they’re watching it, and obviously the language is just in their mind, it’s how many kids learn languages through cartoons. So I would say, definitely find a fun way to learn it.

Max Branstetter 12:27
Yeah, after watching and loving the movie parasite, I’m feel fluent in Korean too, so I’m kidding, but those are great tips, and actually, it kind of relates to what people say about like, teaching your kids to ski, like, if you teach them to ski at an early age, then it’s like, easier, you know, get them on skis while they’re young, and then it becomes easier. That’s something I kind of missed out on as good, but my wife’s family is huge on that. So really, really cool stuff. Let’s get to etiquette. I think it’s something that, speaking of my wife, she would say, I need a lot of help in I’m not the most let’s just say I’m a pretty casual, laid back guy. So they’ll say it that way. So I’ve learned some things. Still don’t know how to properly set a dinner table, anything like that. But, you know, I know some basic stuff, but I could learn a lot from you. So we’re going to talk all things etiquette. But first of all, you’re a certified etiquette coach, etiquette consultant, like, built, like, incredibly cool and now massive YouTube channel where you where you have so many awesome videos on on the subject matter, what got you interested in etiquette in the first place?

Jamila Musayeva 13:32
Again, it’s only going back to my childhood. I think again, I was, I was lucky enough to have traveled a lot with my parents throughout the world, and it was a priority for them to give us good education and to show us the world. So I think seeing other parts of the world and things were done as young as 12 and 13, I traveled to India, I traveled to China, I traveled to Europe. So I saw how different parts of the world lived differently, and that always brought like curiosity in me as to, you know, why are you doing this way? Why are you doing that way? But it was just a child curiosity. I didn’t know that there was a thing, such a thing as an etiquette at that point. And so I think I then pursued my degree in International Relations in George Washington University, assuming that I’m going to learn a lot about that, like cultures. I also did minors in History and Sociology, because I really wanted, and I was always interested in a history and culture and society, so I couldn’t really find what I was looking for. And then I moved to Europe to do my master’s degree at College of Europe, where I saw how people lived very different from the way they lived in us. And so in us, actually. And then in Belgium, where I was doing my course. We did like diplomatic protocol. And when I was in GW, we actually had a workshop by, I think it was the Institute of protocol and etiquette in Washington, DC, they did like a workshop for international relations student. And I attended one of those, and I remember sitting there and thinking, Oh, my God, this is exactly what I would love to be teaching. I. Fast Forward, I came back to my country, got married, and I started working at Azerbaijan Diplomatic Academy, where I thought I want to do some courses on etiquette, because all these kids are so good with academic studies, but they’re not very well equipped in soft skills, like how to present themselves, how to speak elegantly, or, you know, eloquently, how to present them themselves, how to sit at a table, so I really wanted to teach them that. That’s basically what sparked my interest to go and google for courses and becoming an etiquette consultant, which is what I did. And I landed the course in UK, and ever since coming back from that course, I’ve been just teaching etiquette and doing it internationally through in person and online workshops as well, and also my pre recorded online courses that are available on my website. So and also wrote three books on etiquette that I can then learn etiquette together with my students from so these are just like course materials for us. Well, congrats

Max Branstetter 15:55
on everything. It’s pretty cool that you found this passion area, and then you’ve turned into like all right, now I’m certified. Now I’m an author, and now I’m, you know, an expert. Have all these amazing videos on it. So you really went all in on your etiquette passion, which is pretty good etiquette, if I say so myself, speaking of the world etiquette, like,

I vaguely know what etiquette is, but I feel like there’s so many different subcategories within it. Like, for somebody who’s not as familiar like, what would you say are the most common areas of etiquette that you consult people on? So

Jamila Musayeva 16:25
I would say etiquette. When people say etiquette, they immediately just think of table manners. It’s like dining manners. You know how to sit at a table. That’s the biggest part of etiquette, I would say, and the one that you get to see. So most evidently, because we all set to eat. We all sit at a table to share a meal. And so these are the parts of our life where we get most to expose our skills and show off in a way. So I would say definitely table manners is one of them. But you know, everything starting from your grooming to the way you get dressed, to the way you style yourself, to the way or you understand dress codes to the way you present yourself, do introductions, so everything that’s just basically how you live your life, mostly professionally, but also socially. So it’s just how you present yourself the world, how you speak, how you hold yourself, how you hold your items, how you walk, how you stand, how you post for pictures, handshakes, greeting forms, business etiquette, so a gift giving across the globe, across cultures, is very different. Etiquette is just basically, I would say, sort of like a guideline for life, social life that you step in once you’re out of school, because in school you could be as casual as you want to be. In school, you can just, you know, wear your PJs and come in Uggs if you wish. You know, because no one is going to tell you that it’s not right to do so. But once you’re out and you’re in a professional world and you’re socializing, you’re going to networking events, you’re doing these interviews, you’re now in the realm of a real world, like adult world, and that’s where etiquette comes very handy. And on my YouTube channel, I and my bio, I mentioned how my channel is education beyond classroom, because these things are some of us are lucky to be taught this by our parents at home, by, you know, looking up to our immediate family members or a mentor that made that you may have as a child, but there are so many people that never got a chance to study this or never had an example to look up to. And let me tell you max that these courses are very pricey. Generally, etiquette courses around the world, there are very few schools that are still existing, and they’re quite expensive. So it’s very difficult for people to access this information, and some of the books on etiquette are very outdated. A lot of these rules now no longer apply. So my idea of launching the channel was to be helpful to people that can’t necessarily access it for money, and that might be stuck somewhere in life and have to go to meet their in laws for dinner or maybe prepare for a job interview, whatever it might be. So I have these videos that they can, you know, find online and prepare themselves for an actual interview. And I’ve received so many emails from and so many direct messages on my Instagram as well, and the comments on my YouTube channel, people telling me how you know your video changed my life. I landed a job, or I got the client to sign with me, I impressed my in laws, and this actually means the world to me. And I don’t want to like I don’t. I know it sounds cliche when people say, oh my god, like this means the world to me, but it truly does, because that’s the biggest reward I could get from people that I don’t know can have access to from all parts of the world, you know, from Barbados to Sri Lanka, telling me, you know, you have helped me. So it has given me a lot of opportunities as well. But the biggest one is being able to help people.

Max Branstetter 19:51
Well, that means the world that you shared that, no, I’m totally with you. I think, like, when I’m like, responding to people online and Like. People say nice things. I always like, I’m like, How many times can I say means a ton? Or how many times can I say means a world, but like, it really does. And like, I wish there were more ways to say that and convey that, but like, it really, it really is so true. So, so there’s amazing story there. With your YouTube, there’s a little bit of foreshadowing. So we’ll get to that in a little bit here. Most urgently, just because I again, need dire help. I want to dive into some of these categories of etiquette. And I think you mentioned some of them that kind of come top of mind, like business etiquette, table setting etiquette, whatever you call that, times to be formal introductions, being cordial, things like that. But I want to focus on business for a little bit. And I think, you know, there’s many entrepreneurs that tune into the show, and aspiring entrepreneurs that tune into this show. And I’m curious, like, where etiquette is, like, most important in a business setting, like, what comes to mind about, like, when it’s really important to be, to be really on top of your etiquette in the business and entrepreneurship world,

Jamila Musayeva 21:00
it’s sending your first email to connect like that’s as early as it is. The reason I can tell this is because I received on a daily basis now because I’m, you know, my YouTube is doing so big channel I’m getting every day pretty much 10 emails on collaboration, you know, invitations and on spot within a few seconds. My team and I can tell, like, if we’re going to do this or not. It starts from the way the subject is written. Start from the way the email is written, signed off. It’s as like, it really does. You know how they say takes you, like, seven or three seconds to make your first impression. It really takes you just three seconds. And you can tell, obviously, you receive a lot of emails about, you know, people want them to collaborate or be on your podcast or anything, and you can immediately tell, like, are these professionals or are these like, not scammers, but they’re not really people that you want to do business with. And so for me, it’s just as early as communicating your first message, be it your you know, you want to collaborate with someone you want, a help from someone you want you know, an interview with someone. It really means a lot for you to take your time and craft an email that will stand out from the rest of the crowd. One of the biggest pet peeves for me is when people write like hey, and instead of like hello or like hey jam or like they nicknamed me, or like, Jammy, yeah. I’m like, what like Is this for me? Or like they would write, Hey, honey, we have a great idea to collaborate with you. And I’m like, Honey, like, this is not, I understand you want to be like, friendly with me, and this is like, a, maybe a makeup brand, and you’re all these, like, you know, there’s this tone to your brand, but you don’t address someone you’re meeting for the very first time, or sending an email for the first time by going, Hey, like, Honey, hey, lovey. That’s not how you address a person. So for me, it’s really about these little details that tell me a lot about how you handle your your work. Another thing is, I hate when people send off immediately voice notes on DM. You know, they’re trying to collaborate, and that’s the first thing they do is send a voice message. I don’t get a chance to listen to voice messages all the time. I don’t know who you are. Maybe an introduction would do great. And then ask me if I you can listen to a voice note, because I want to send a long voice note explaining, is it okay if I send you one, and upon my consent, you can send me a voice note explaining what you want to do. So for me, there’s a lot of these things that do make a huge difference. So again, how you present yourself to the world Max? It’s all about how you start.

Max Branstetter 23:35
I appreciate those, and I’m definitely guilty of those, not the like name calling over email, but like, I use hey all the time. There’s a little joke, hey is for horses, but, but. And then I’ve also done a lot of Instagram DM voice memos, and I’ve seen that sometimes they really work, but it probably depends on the person. But also now you’re like, I mean, I get hit up with spam. I can only imagine the amount of like DMs you get and like people in so it’s a good thing, especially, especially for you that there now there’s almost, like the spam filter within Instagram, if you can stop when people reaching out. But, yeah, there’s so much spam reach out these days. But I do have to admit that it would be nice if somebody called me honey. Sometimes it would just go,

Jamila Musayeva 24:21
that would be weird, but Okay, over

Max Branstetter 24:23
email, no, no, no, I never get that over email, strange. But I think those are really, really good tips. I think email, it’s like, there’s so many forms of communication these days, and the world’s always changing with that, but like, email is always been a mainstay. And you’re right, that first impression is crucial. And I’m the same thing with potential podcast guests. Of like, yeah, you can tell within seconds if it’s somebody worth talking to more, or it’s like, all right, this is like, they don’t know anything about the show or anything. Like they didn’t do any research, or they weren’t nice, or didn’t call me honey. How about, how about in person? So that’s the email and, like, online sort of thing. And. Social sort of thing. What about in person? So, like, if you’re having a business meeting with, like a new potential client, for example, what are some things to keep in mind in person? You know, like body language, like in person etiquette, when you when you do meetings like that. Well, in

Jamila Musayeva 25:16
person, it’s a bit more even complicated, because if, if online, you only have to take care of an email, then in person, you have to take care of how you look. So your dress, obviously your suit and tie, if it’s a man, you know whatever you’re wearing, how groomed you are. So your personal hygiene matters, your body language, because you know, these are the things that really tell our mind. They feed the information faster than what we’re going to tell afterwards. So these are just things that we subconsciously pick up on, just based on our nature, that we are able to say, is this a danger or is this like a good thing? Obviously, afterwards it’s just, you know, the way you speak, the way you talk, what you say, but up until the point you get really a chance to talk, it’s just the microseconds of people scanning you like and we all do that subconscious is not necessarily something we do intentionally, but subconsciously you scan a person. So for me, I think you know, having attended a lot of events and being in a lot of obviously teaching around the world, and being in a lot of different international arenas or workshops, I can tell that, um, it doesn’t really matter what you’re wearing, per se, that, you know, it’s a national costume you’re wearing, or if it’s like a formal attire you’re wearing, what really, truly matters is how well fitting, well taken care of, well I rent where fitting to your body. This suit and tie this dress is so it might be the most branded item out there in the world, maybe the latest collection. But if it’s not fitting to our body, it’s not like fitting to your body frame. It’s not well taken care of. It’s, you know, stained. Maybe it has some you know, it’s not fresh any longer, so it’s obviously not going to make a good impression. So clothes has to be sharp on you, tailored to your body size in terms of your grooming. I think the most important things when it comes to men and women is the way they take care of their shoes. If your shoes are not polished, if they’re not well taken care of, it means it can ruin your whole total look, because our eyes naturally gaze from eyes top down, because we’re scanning it ends at the shoe. So when the shoe is last thing we see and it’s not leaving a good impression, most likely, the whole impression will be ruined very easily. You can even try to Google some images of people wearing wrong shoes, and you will see how that immediately throws off the whole look. So making sure that you take care of your shoes and are appropriate for your dress code. So obviously, you know, wearing a dress suit with like, boots that are like, muddy or will ruin the whole look of your suit. So definitely having a change in your bag, in your car for for like, a fresh pair of dress shoes important when you’re like, especially in winter time if you’re going to a networking event. And obviously some of the things that we pay attention most is, obviously, you know how well groomed Your face is, your hair, how you know fresher hair is handshakes. When we’re handshaking, we pay attention a lot to hands. And when we talk as well, we pay a lot to fingernails and fingers. I always say, especially when you know women are asking me, Is it important to have a manicure some men as well. I would say it’s not necessarily important that you get it done in a salon, that you get the nail polish on, but what matters is that your nails are clipped. They’re trimmed. You have no cuticles around, no bites around, no like blood around your nails, and that your hands are like, well moisture, not well moisture, but like, not so harsh to touch, because these are the things that tell a lot about how you how much attention you paid your overall hygiene. The way people take care of their hands means a lot about how they’re taking care of their overall hygiene. So that’s why we paid a lot of attention to that. And obviously, you know, making sure that your hair is fresh, you know, if you have dandruff, you know, take care of that. So there’s nothing you know remaining on your shoulders. So these are the things that you know. How they say talk about self love and self care, how you know you have to start loving yourself first, so that people will love you. And I say this is important, not just because self love is important as a practice by itself, but Self Love starts for with taking care of yourself. So if you cannot take care of yourself Max, how can I trust you my company? How can I trust you with bigger things? You know, if you’re a mess, there’s very little chance that you will be organized in the rest of your life. So showing that you are organized and you’re well taken care of tells me that you are ready to take on tasks that need organization, that need you know, tidiness that need a certain routine. So I think that’s very important, and nothing has changed about that. You know, no pandemic has influenced that. There are some relaxation in terms of the rules of like, what is a dress code appropriate for different there are some companies that went casual from business casual. There are companies that. And from business formal to business casual. So definitely, the dress code has become less formal in a lot of companies, but no one has canceled the idea of looking put together. That’s what matters.

Max Branstetter 30:12
You read my mind, because the next thing I was going to ask you is like, like, why is etiquette so important? And you kind of hinted at it. There is like, it’s all goes back to first impressions and people’s perception of you, and if like you come across not organized or not responsible, that totally directly impacts if whether people want to work with you or not, or collaborate in any form, or call you honey over email or no. But It’s spot on. And I think actually, to the point of, like, how subconsciously we do, like a scan of somebody when we first meet them, and notice their shoes. We had wait way back early on in the podcast. So, like, I do a special family episode for Thanksgiving every year, and one of the first people I interviewed for that was my mom, Joanne. And so that was really special interview. It was really, really cool. But one of the fun, like, random stories she told was how, one time at our our house, growing up, I guess she had like, a handyman or maintenance person over, and the guy took his shoes off and he had like a giant hole in his sock. And she, like, she’s like, I’m not, like, a picky person or anything, but like, like, I couldn’t work with them after I saw the hole in the sock, I was like, this, yeah, this isn’t gonna work out. So it’s still that story always sticks with me to this day.

Jamila Musayeva 31:30
But do you see how even being a honey man, like being a maintenance person, like the first impression you obviously, if you have a hole in your sock, that tells me a lot about, you know, how you take care of yourself, and so how can I really trust you with fixing my home if you can’t fix yourself? You know, I think some people like think this would be judgmental, but I think it’s just a natural way of selecting things for our own safety. This is our mind or our gut telling us things before our mind makes up arguments about why it could work. It really doesn’t take that much time to look put together. It’s just how much effort you are willing to put in, or how much attention you’re willing to put in, that’s that’s what matters Exactly. That’s a good story to back up. My my words.

Max Branstetter 32:13
I appreciate it. Well, we can thank my mom. Shout out my mom for that. Shout out Joanne, who is also the only subscriber to my YouTube my youtube channel at Max Branstetter. Make sure you Subscribe there. If you’re not already, it’s where you can check out full video versions of the podcast, the wild Business Growth podcast, episodes like this one. And before we dive into Jamila’s YouTube and her over a million subscribers, let’s see what we can do to get me up to two subscribers. So be my mom, Joanne and and you Okay, now let’s actually dive into Jamila YouTube channel. Speaking of putting in the effort. Let’s talk to YouTube. So YouTube is, I mean, at the time of this recording, you now have over a million subscribers. Congrats on that. That’s about a million more than I have no but I think YouTube is an awesome space. To your point on education, like, there’s so many incredibly valuable resources there. Like, there’s no question why. It’s no wonder why YouTube has grown so much as a platform. There’s endless things there, and it’s, you know now how, like, kids watch they don’t watch TV, they watch YouTube. It’s like, blows my mind. But how did you decide? Well, you hinted at at the start of how, like, these courses on etiquette out there are, like, super expensive. I want to provide something more affordable. I want to help more people. When did it change from you, from being, like, All right, let’s put this stuff on YouTube. Try to help some people to, like, wait a second, this is like, really catching on. Like, I’m really onto something here.

Jamila Musayeva 33:57
Uh, Max, to be honest. Like, I would want to give a bit of a background. I was already teaching, yeah, of course, in school and university, but it was pandemic that hit, and I had to carry on with my online classes for etiquette. And that was so difficult because I had to set up the table every time for each class. So I got really tired of that, and I thought, how can I, you know, facilitate my life? I also had two kids stuck at home with me. So I was like, Okay, I’m gonna shoot a video how I eat an afternoon tea, etiquette and all the things that I’m teaching, and then I’ll share the link with students before the class, so during the class, we could discuss things that I was talking about in class. So that would make it easier for me. So essentially, first, the way I launched the channel is just allow myself to have some course materials that I could share with my students. And the only platform that allowed you to upload something that was that long and for free was YouTube. And it wasn’t really until I started getting people like commenting and my channel being noticed that I realized YouTube could be something I could be doing. And even until today, Max, if you ask me, Are you a YouTuber? I. Say I’m a part time YouTuber, because over the span of four years since I launched my YouTube channel, I only had about 316 videos, which is pretty much nothing if you compare to someone’s Tiktok account or other YouTubers. I used to do just one video per month. Then I did like two videos per month, and now I’m trying to do like three to four videos per month. It’s not always consistent. I’m not always like regular and with that, and to be honest, I still think that. So my channel was just a resource for me that ended up being a resource for others, and now I just feel accountable to my audience, that I provide them with good quality educational videos that could be about lifestyle or inspiring someone to learn languages or inspire someone to take care of their skin, or, you know, dress a certain way, or, like, not a certain way, but like dressing tips that I have for them, because those are things people ask me to do, and then obviously etiquette and presentation, public speaking. So to be honest, I still do think that my chat, my focus, is to help people as much as I can, because it’s obviously something I feel I have to give back to my community for their support. I wouldn’t consider myself like a trendy YouTuber, because I’d never really do like, very like hot topics. You know, how these people do like, how to get attractive, to attract, like a wealthy man or something?

Max Branstetter 36:20
That’s actually, that’s my latest video. How did you know?

Jamila Musayeva 36:24
But, you know, I get a lot of requests about how to become like a high value woman, how to become a woman to be seductive to men, and I always respond like, this is not my expertise, like, I cannot tell you how to do that. I’m not a I’m not a coach on relationships, and I don’t intend to be one, because it will be a life I were trying to be because, you know, I never dated anyone. I got married to a family, friends, and I don’t have much expertise to share with you how to attract men. It’s not my thing, you know. So my thing is how to become a better version of yourself, how to learn languages, how to improve your skills, how to become well mannered and well groomed, how to become a better you, and then you can decide what to do with that. Afterwards, I wouldn’t consider myself still like a YouTuber that thinks, Oh, I’m gonna be like the next hot topic. My agenda is still to educate, and I hope that I can continue doing that and not fall into the trap of trying to become one.

Max Branstetter 37:22
By the way, when you said how to attract a wealthy man, at first I thought you said a wolfy man, like a wolf like man. I’m like, oh, that’s that could be a good one for, like, Halloween. That should be my next topic. Here you go. Speaking of that, actually, what’s your process like for choosing topics and, like, developing these videos, because, like, if you check your channel, the videos are amazing, like, awesome quality, really, really good topics, like, the final product’s amazing. But like, what’s the behind the scenes

Jamila Musayeva 37:50
there? Oh, Max is just so easy. It’s usually just me thinking, Oh, I wish there was a video about this. Like, I wish there was a video about how to speak more elegantly. Or, I wish there was a video how to, you know, things that I would before Google myself. Or, oftentimes, these are very good recommendations for my audience. They’re asking me, you know, like, I would love to hear a video about this, but let me tell you this max, you know, they say, like, if your audience tells you to do this, or if, like, Google Trends are telling you to do this very it’s not always the case that the things that are told to be trendy will be the trendy video. There was a video that I did on elegant hand gestures. No one asked me for that. There isn’t no not such a thing on Google that people are searching like elegant hand gestures. And it’s one of the five top videos that I’ve done, or like how to walk. I don’t think anyone ever would tell me, like, can you teach me how to walk? And then that video is one of the most popular ones on my channel. So I realized that a lot of things that I did out of my own like intention to teach, are the ones that went viral versus the ones that Google is telling me, you know, people are interested in learning about, you know, for example, I don’t know like seeing your lifestyle, or like your your something about, like your skincare or something. So I’m like, Okay, I’m gonna do a video on that, and that doesn’t do so well. It’s just okay video. And then I realized that, you know, I tell to everyone who wants to do content is just to content that you would be searching yourself or create things that you would be willing to buy yourself, so at least you wouldn’t feel guilty or like you wouldn’t feel bad for for it not doing well. Even when those videos are not doing well, I’m like, It’s okay, you know, because I wanted to do it rather than, you know, having some trends tell you what to do, and then it doesn’t end up being well. So definitely listen to your gut feeling, or your gut mind whatever you call it

Max Branstetter 39:34
gut. Mind that video on how to walk must be the most searchable video by toddlers as they’re learning to walk so on heels. And I didn’t exactly that’s quite the image there, and I didn’t butcher my words when I said that at all. Incredible, no, but there’s a really, really, really good lessons there is like, make content that you’re curious yourself. About, and then also make content that your audience is asking you for. Like, those are like, you’ll you’ll never run out of ideas there. So that that’s phenomenal formula that’s worked for you. Looking back now, I know it’s still pretty early, relatively in your YouTube journey, but looking back now, like the explosive growth you’ve seen, and you know, subscribers, videos, quality, everything there. What advice do you have for any fellow YouTuber out there always sounds it sounds funny saying YouTuber, any follow YouTuber or aspiring YouTuber out there in terms of the best way to grow your channel over time.

Jamila Musayeva 40:40
You know, I always find it difficult to answer this, because I didn’t have a team, I didn’t have a strategy. It was just a videographer me, just the two of us, and now his sister has joined the team, so she’s the editor. I don’t have any, like, strategic planners that would like think of caption or or the whole team behind it, and maybe, unfortunately, because maybe that would boost my channel even more, but I never saw the need to grow. I think my initial in the beginning, and I think that’s what you have to keep in mind. Like you don’t have to go in focusing on becoming a million channel. Your focus should be on, how can I create videos that are useful and helpful and that are for good quality that people will want to watch. Because if you answer do that and answer those criteria, your videos are going to do really well. What I really love about YouTube, which I don’t find necessarily in other social media platforms like Tiktok or Instagram, is that the game is so fair. You know how with Instagram, you could buy followers, you could do giveaways, try to seduce people to, you know, join your or buy a page that was already there, or grow your Instagram page very fast by buying followers and things like that. It’s not possible on YouTube. Fortunately, it’s really a fair game. If you do well, people will watch and people will subscribe, which is unfortunately not always the same with other social media platforms. So for me, the secret sauce is to do something that you think is valuable to people, something that you can share your knowledge on and do with a good quality because the way the visuals and the sound really matters, people are very now spoiled and good quality things, and they will not sit and watch your video if the audio is bad or if the visuals are not good, and just let algorithm do its job. Someone will start watching. Algorithm will start picking up on it, and then it’ll start suggesting to other people to watch. Like, if you really get into the mindset of like, how do I grow fast? Like, I need more viewers and things like that, you’ll get lost in the process, and most likely, you’ll just give up, because it doesn’t happen fast. It’s not like the overnight fame that you have on on Instagram or Tiktok. You know how fast one video can shoot. It’s not the same on YouTube. The only exception was Cristiano Ronaldo, but he had a huge audience anyways. But otherwise, all other YouTubers. If you watch the history of any popular YouTuber, they started for like 10 years, and they only started seeing growth in like three, four years into the channel. I was lucky enough to be able to grow it in four years, and I think that’s hugely thanks to pandemic. People had nothing else to do. They were stuck at home. YouTube really spiked, and that’s when my channel appeared. I think pandemic really did me a justice.

Max Branstetter 43:26
Well, speaking of value, let’s wrap up with something that has absolutely zero value. Let’s wrap up with some rapid fire. Q, A, you ready for it? I’m ready. All right, let’s get Wild, and let’s get etiquette-y. By the way, you should do a partnership with the state of Connecticut, because it has etiquette in the name. I just realized that. So there you go. Used to live in Connecticut, please, Connetiquette with the French spelling, yeah. All right, let’s get wild. You are a co founder of a fitness gym for kids, which I think is super cool. What’s the biggest thing that you’ve learned from that entrepreneurship and kind of unique business experience

Jamila Musayeva 44:05
that is very tough, yeah, because you have to satisfy like, if your client is not just a toddler, your client is parent and toddler, and that could be a lot of discrepancy a child might like, the adult might not like, or the other way around. And it’s really hard because your client is not just one person, also that it’s a very because it’s a niche industry, it’s very hard to, like, educate people on the importance of it. So education should come prior to the actual business. Very few people understand the need to start early with physical education. So

Max Branstetter 44:38
my wife, Dana, is a teacher, and so I get that like from her all the time. It’s like, wait a second, you know? It’s like, obviously you’re teaching the students, but the amount of emails she gets from parents is unbelievable. It’s like, the kids and the parents. So I’m sure you see that all the time too. What is something really? Really. If I could pronounce it really, really cool about Azerbaijan that maybe a lot of people don’t

Jamila Musayeva 45:06
know that we are super tolerant country. And I mean it, we’re not just talking tolerance, we’re living tolerance, and we have always been. We are very, very accepting of foreigners and guests. We’re very hospitable. Will love having people over. Hospitality is probably the number one thing for people here. And by tolerance, I mean like, we’ve never had racism. We’ve never had like religious like violence, or anything like that. We have our own indigenous Jewish population that lives here. They’re called Mountain Jews. And then we’re probably the only we are, the only Muslim country where Jewish and Muslim people co existed ever before it became a thing. You know, there are so many religious minorities, so many ethnic minorities living in Azerbaijan. So I think hospitality, tolerance, quite liberal country for we’re a Muslim country, but we’re very secular. So it’s a very, liberal Muslim country. I think that we have very good food as something people don’t know about. We are very good organic food. So, yeah,

Max Branstetter 46:10
that’s awesome. I appreciate that. You know what’s a weird I call them weird talents. It could be a weird talent or a party trick, like something that you’re really good at, but it doesn’t really impact your business. It’s just, well, I’m really good at

Jamila Musayeva 46:21
this. I dance really well. I’m a good belly dancer, I belly dancer, I belly dance. And I just, I’m a very good dancer, I would say. But unfortunately, I’m not on tick tock, so I can’t, I mean, I am, but it’s not me. So I don’t do like tick tock dance videos, honestly, like, if we’re talking about money, I could probably be earning more money doing good dancer than than etiquette videos.

Max Branstetter 46:42
Oh, my God. Well, let me know when you start that, and then I’ll start my belly dance channel as well. We can, we can collab, and I’ll send you a voice

Jamila Musayeva 46:50
DM, and I’ll call you Honey,

Max Branstetter 46:53
exactly, exactly. How sweet, literally. All right, what

is I’m not gonna let you see Arabic for this, because you already said it’s the most difficult. Most difficult. But of the other languages that you’ve learned or are trying to learn, which one is the most difficult from a pronunciation standpoint,

Jamila Musayeva 47:13
oh, I think it’s French, because, again, so many unnecessary letters in between. Like, why would you write for letters of like, like, oh, and then just pronounce it like, Oh. It’s like, you could just be written Oh. So definitely French, but it’s it was easier for me to learn because it’s a bit like Spanish. So there was a common ground that I could pick up on.

Max Branstetter 47:38
It’s just like Spanish. It’s just way more French. No, we tried. When we visited Paris was like, the first time I really said the word for Thank you, which I try to say, it is milsy, but I don’t know, like, I feel like you have to swallow your tongue as you say it. It’s like, deep in that, yeah, there you go. Much better than So fortunately, a lot of people know English too, all right? And then last one, what is the most common etiquette mistake that you see people make? In general,

Jamila Musayeva 48:09
the in dining etiquette, something that I’ve seen done a lot in hotels, especially for breakfast and amongst a lot of like businessmen that are meeting there for either breakfast or brunch. And that’s like tucking in their napkin to their shirt while having, like, like, business lunch or dinner or morning breakfast. And I’m like, well, like, you don’t need that. It’s not a dip, you know, you’re not a baby. I think you should have mastered already your table manners to feel comfortable eating. You know, without that napkin tucked into your shirt. It definitely is something that is telling me, oh, I can’t handle my table manners, so I need this extra protection. So yeah, that’s probably one of the things that I was like, whoa. And then the second thing would be, like, people going out for a handshake with women first. And that’s like a thing in social etiquette, you could always wait. You should always wait for a woman to extend her hand for a hand shake. And that comes with an idea of like, harassment and allowing the woman to, you know, make the first step decide if she wants to touch her hand or not. And then I see a lot of men, like in social gathering, thinking that they have to greet a woman with a handshake. You don’t allow the woman to make the first move if she wants to.

Max Branstetter 49:19
Very nice. Well, Jamila, thank you so much for handshaking things up. See what I did there. Really appreciate you coming on and all you do. Just congrats again. On the awesome channel, the books, the business, the businesses really appreciate you having you on. Where’s the best place for people if they want to learn more about any of your teachings or your books or connect with you on YouTube, obviously your YouTube show, where’s the best place that they can learn more about you? Definitely

Jamila Musayeva 49:42
my website, which is JamilaMusayeva.com there are my books are available for international shipments, so they can order my books to be shipped to their country, as well as I have pre recorded online courses for those that you know want to watch etiquette courses at their own leisurely. Time. So they can find my two Precourt online courses Western Formal Dining Etiquette from A to Z that prepares you for a formal dining experience and then entertaining at home is about how to set up a table, how to greet guests formally at home and all that, as well as how to grab gifts. So it’s really good for someone who wants to learn how to host people over. And then they can find me on Instagram, to follow just my daily diary, so to speak, and also on Patreon, I have a patron etiquette movie club where every month I do reviews for movies from an etiquette standpoint of you, which is a very unique content. It’s not available anywhere else, only on my Patreon, so they can join me there. Too.

Max Branstetter 50:39
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, so much to learn. I mean, I’ve learned a ton just in this session, just talking to you. So thanks again. Last thing, final thoughts, it could be a quote, word of wisdom. You could say it in French and Spanish if you want, whatever you want, send us home here. Ooh. You

Jamila Musayeva 50:56
know, I used to say that my most favorite quote that got me started with YouTube, and a lot of things in my life was this quote that changed my whole way approach to life, and that is one day or day one. So it’s just about it’s up to you every day that you postpone your dream, your wish, your goal, to think of it. Will I do it one day? Or is this a day one of living up closer to my dream. And just recently, another quote that really spoke to my heart, because I’ve had a lot of challenges along on my way, is this quote from actually, Quran, the holy book of Muslims. There is a line that says, with hardships comes ease, so with hardships comes ease. And I never really understood the meaning of this, but living the life and in retrospective to certain things that happen in my life, I see how it is truly with hardships that the ease in life comes. Some of the most successful people in the world that a lot of us admire nowadays have had the most difficult, challenging childhood or teenagerhood or anything, and through those hardships, they accomplish things in life. So those are two quotes that I hope to inspire your listening audience, especially if they’re entrepreneurs, because it really will be needed in the journey of being an entrepreneur.

Max Branstetter 52:19
So much will be needed. And so much. Thank you to Jamila. Thank you so much Jamila for coming on the show sharing your incredible etiquette tips in Connecticut. And thank you, Wild Listeners, for tuning in to another episode. If you want to hear more Wild stories like this one, make sure to Follow the Wild Business Growth podcast on your favorite podcast platform and Subscribe on YouTube. YouTube is @MaxBranstetter You can also find us on Goodpods, and for any help with podcast production, you can learn more at MaxPodcasting.com and sign up for the Podcasting to the Max newsletter that is at MaxPodcasting.com/Newsletter until next-iquette time, Let your business Run Wild…Bring on the Bongos!!